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There once was a town called Allopath.
It had many people, streets and cars, but due to budget limitations,
there were no stop signs or traffic lights anywhere in Allopath.
Not
surprisingly, traffic accidents were common. Cars would crash into each
other at nearly every intersection. But business was booming for the
auto repair shops and local hospitals, which dominated the economy of
Allopath.
As
the population of Allopath grew, traffic accidents increased to an
alarming level. Out of desperation, the city council hired Doctor West,
a doctor of the Motor Division (M.D.) to find a solution.
Dr.
West spent days examining
traffic accidents. He carried an assortment of technical gear --
microscopes, chemical analysis equipment, lab gear -- and put them all
to work as part of his investigation. The townspeople of Allopath
watched on with great curiosity while Dr. West went about his work,
meticulously documenting and analyzing each traffic accident, and they
awaited his final report with great interest.
After weeks of investigation, Dr. West called the people of Allopath to
a town meeting for the release of his report. There, in front of the
city council and most of the residents of Allopath, he announced his
findings: "Traffic accidents are caused by skid marks."
As
Dr. West explained, he found and documented a near-100% correlation
between traffic accidents and skid marks. "Wherever we find these cars
colliding," he explained, "we also find these skid marks."
The
town had "Skid Marks Disease," the doctor explained, and the answer to
the town's epidemic of traffic accidents would, "...require nothing more
than treating Skid Marks Disease by making the streets skid-proof," Dr.
West exclaimed, to great applause from the townspeople.
The
city paid Dr. West his consulting fee, then asked the good doctor to
propose a method for treating this Skid Marks Disease. As chance would
have it, Dr. West had recently been on a trip to Hawaii paid for by a
chemical company that manufactured roadaceuticals: special chemicals
used to treat roads for situations just like this one. He recommended a
particular chemical coating to the city council: teflon.
"We
can treat this Skid Marks Disease by coating the roads with teflon," Dr.
West explained. "The streets will then be skid-proof, and all the
traffic accidents will cease!" He went on to describe the physical
properties of teflon and how its near-frictionless coating would deter
nearly all vehicle skids.
The
city council heartily agreed with Dr. West, and they issued new public
bonds to raise the money required to buy enough teflon to coat all the
city's streets. Within weeks, the streets were completely coated, and
the skid marks all but disappeared.
The
city council paid Dr. West another consulting fee and thanked him for
his expertise. The problem of traffic accidents in Allopath was solved,
they thought. Although the cure was expensive, they were convinced it
was worth it.
But
things weren't well in Allopath. Traffic accidents quadrupled. Hospital
beds were overflowing with injured residents. Auto repair businesses
were booming so much that most of the city council members decided to
either open their own car repair shops or invest in existing ones.
Week after week, more and more residents of Allopath were injured, and
their cars were repeatedly damaged. Money piled into the pockets of the
car repair shops,
hospitals, tow truck companies and car parts retailers.
The
town economic advisor, observing this sharp increase in economic
activity, announced that Allopath was booming. Its
economy was healthier than ever, and Allopath could look forward to
a great year of economic prosperity!
There were jobs to be had at the car repair shops. There were more
nurses needed at the
hospital. "Help wanted" signs appeared all over town at the
paramedic station, the tow truck shops, and the auto glass businesses.
Unemployment dropped to near zero.
But
the traffic accidents continued to increase. And yet there were no skid
marks.
The
city council was baffled. They thought they had solved this problem.
Skid Marks Disease had been eradicated by the teflon treatment. Why were
traffic accidents still happening?
They called a town meeting to discuss the problem, and following a short
discussion of the problem, an old hermit, who lived in the forest just
outside of Allopath, addressed the townspeople. "There is no such thing
as Skid Marks Disease," he explained. "This disease was invented by the
roadaceuticals company to sell you teflon coatings."
The
townspeople were horrified to hear such a statement. They knew Skid
Marks Disease existed. The doctor had told them so. How could this
hermit, who had no Motor Division (M.D.) degree, dare tell them
otherwise? How could he question their collective town wisdom in such a
way? "This is a simple problem," the hermit continued. "All we need to
do is build stop signs and traffic lights. Then the traffic accidents
will cease."
Without pause, one city council member remarked, "But how can we afford
stop signs? We've spent all our money on teflon treatments!"
The
townspeople agreed. They had no money to buy stop signs.
Another council member added, "And how can we stop anyway? The streets
are all coated with teflon. If we build stop signs, we'll waste all the
money we've spent on teflon!"
The
townspeople agreed, again. What use were stop signs if they couldn't
stop their cars anyway?
The
hermit replied, "But the stop signs will eliminate the need for teflon.
People will be able to stop their cars, and accidents will cease. The
solution is simple."
But
what might happen if stop signs actually worked, the townspeople
wondered. How would it affect the booming economy of Allopath? Realizing
the consequences, a burly old man who owned a local repair shop jumped
to his feet and said, "If we build these stop signs, and traffic
accidents go down, I'll have to fire most of my workers!"
It
was at that moment that most of the townspeople realized there own jobs
were at stake. If stop signs were built, nearly everyone would be
unemployed. They all had jobs in emergency response services, car repair
shops, hospitals and teflon coating maintenance. Some were now sales
representatives of the roadaceuticals company. Others were importers of
glass, tires, steel and other parts for cars. A few clever people were
making a fortune selling wheelchairs and crutches to accident victims.
One
enterprising young gentleman started a scientific journal that published
research papers describing all the different kind of Skid Marks Diseases
that had been observed and documented. Another person, a fitness
enthusiast, organized an annual run to raise funds to find the cure for
Skid Marks
Disease. It was a popular event, and all the townspeople participated as
best they could: jogging, walking, or just pushing themselves along in
their wheelchairs.
One
way or another, nearly everyone in Allopath was economically tied to
Skid Marks Disease.
Out
of fear of losing this economic prosperity, the townspeople voted to
create a new public safety agency: the Frequent Drivers Association
(FDA). This FDA would be responsible for approving or rejecting all
signage, technology and chemical coatings related to the town's roads.
The
FDA's board members were chosen from among the business leaders of the
community: the owner of the car shop, the owner of the ambulance
company, and of course, Dr. West.
Soon after its inception,
the FDA announced that Skid Marks Disease was, indeed, very real, as
it had been carefully documented by a doctor and recently published in
the town Skid Marks Disease journal. Since there were no studies
whatsoever showing stop signs to be effective for reducing traffic
accidents, the FDA announced that stop signs were to be outlawed, and
that any person attempting to sell stop signs would be charged with
fraud and locked up in the town jail.
This pleased the
townspeople of Allopath. With the FDA, they knew their jobs were safe.
They could go on living their lives of economic prosperity, with secure
jobs, knowing that the FDA would outlaw any attempt to take away their
livelihood. They still had a lot of traffic accidents, but at least
their jobs were secure.
And so life
continued in Allopath. For a short while, at least. As traffic accidents
continued at a devastating rate, more and more residents of Allopath
were injured or killed. Many were left bed-ridden, unable to work, due
to their injuries.
In time, the
population dwindled. The once-booming town of Allopath eventually became
little more than a ghost town. The hospital closed its doors, the FDA
was disbanded, and the Skid Marks Disease journal stopped printing. The
few residents remaining eventually realized nothing good had come of
Skid Marks Disease, the teflon coatings and the FDA. No one was any
better off, as all the town's money had been spent on the disease: the
teflon coatings, car parts and emergency services. No one was any
healthier, or happier, or longer-lived. Most, in fact, had lost their
entire families to Skid Marks Disease.
And the hermit? He
continued to live just outside of town, at the end of a winding country
road, where he lived a simple life with no cars, no roads, no teflon
coatings and no FDA.
He outlived every
single resident of Allopath. He gardened, took long walks through the
forest, and gathered roots, leaves and berries to feed himself. In his
spare time, he constructed stop signs, waiting for the next population
to come along, and hoping they might listen to an old hermit with a
crazy idea:
...that prevention
is the answer, not the treatment of symptoms.
This fable was
authored by
Mike Adams, the Health Ranger. You may reprint or repost, as long as
appropriate credit is given to Mike Adams at
www.NewsTarget.com
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