This
bodybuilder is constantly under the eye of society. A mass of
muscle, built, worked, and fueled by an undying motivation. His past
circumstances call the muscles to attention during each grueling
training
session, and account for every meal
measured and weighed with the precision of a sniper. Every innocence
corrupted, every promise broken, and every failure causes the
bodybuilder to be driven farther into this state of narcissistic
progression. With past aside, outsiders are driven away, old
acquaintances become nuisances, and the social life is quickly taken
over by meal preparation and extra sleep. Months pass and the phone
rarely rings, except for a few obligated family members who recite
their previously rehearsed check-ins. Every reply is short, every
confrontation avoided. His few appearances made in public occur at a
food-mart. The bodybuilder watches as the slovenly bodies move
about, straining to push cart-fulls of soda, cheese-balls, and
hamburger helper to the registers. He listens as they shout empty
threats to their crazed, unkept children who encircle the cart.
With sleeves rolled to perfectly display the arms, the bodybuilder
is unaware that the attention he constantly tries to push away, is
actually his innermost desire. Every time a customer stares, he
begins to feel angry, yet satisfied at the same time. At the
checkout, the cashier will undoubtedly comment on his food choice
after noticing his exaggerated muscularity. He will answer as if
annoyed, but deep inside, he craves this small social outreach.
This is someone who others would
label hardcore. He also perceives himself in this way. That was the
goal all along; to have others take notice and possibly care. He is
only a boy in a suit of armor, too intimidated by the world’s
corruption to face it dead on. For him, building muscle is the only
guarantee, the only sure thing. They would have to kill him to take
his protection from him. The muscle becomes his hiding place, few
can see through the dense collagen fibers, into the insecurities and
frustrations that have clouded his mind since he first became
acquainted with reality. No man has ever lived without feeling this
way, but the hurt seemed to manifest itself with a greater potency
when he was a youth. To undo all of the hardening of his heart
toward society would take years of therapy, family support, and
love. Or just possibly, he may wake up one day and realize that the
world showed him bodybuilding, and that this sport is just one of
the many great wonders of our planet and the people who live in it.
He may realize that in applying the same dedication that produced
his armor, he can slowly help to contribute to others and in doing
so, he will also discover who he really is. “Being hardcore doesn’t
get you anywhere” -Porter Cottrell.
